| 2006-04-01 17:46:48 |
Posted by |
Good but use paragraphs
|
Anonymous |
| 2006-04-20 13:18:46 |
Posted by |
| gooey fun |
jabazz |
| 2006-06-22 19:19:10 |
Posted by |
| pronouns |
Anonymous |
| 2006-06-26 23:51:26 |
Posted by |
| have u ever heard of anything called pronouns?? |
qwerty |
| 2006-07-18 22:07:04 |
Posted by |
| why say her last name all the time? |
Zoth |
| 2006-08-06 18:28:45 |
Posted by |
| u smell |
Anonymous |
| 2006-09-14 13:30:42 |
Posted by |
| give whoever wrote this a break. they're trying to right a story using what they think is good literary form, but the truth is they didnt even go to high school which is why they're stuck here writing erotic stories for free. |
I graduated high school |
| 2006-10-08 06:43:13 |
Posted by |
| fucking hell if you don't want to read it don't ..he;s trying so back the fuck up.. |
scorpion308 |
| 2006-10-30 10:23:34 |
Posted by |
| I agree, use paragraphs, and less of the people's name. I'm here to read about hot sex. That's it. But the story was pretty hot. |
Anonymous |
| 2006-12-06 07:45:31 |
Posted by |
| cool story, the last name thing is a bit repetitive but u live with it.. nice job |
Eragon |
| 2006-12-12 14:04:44 |
Posted by |
| it was a so-so story and you used her last name a bit too much |
Anonymous |
| 2006-12-12 14:05:35 |
Posted by |
| cool story |
harry |
| 2006-12-20 21:34:57 |
Posted by |
| The proper way when writing a story is to use the first name of the person or just the last name. Besides that I think it was ok. You could have gone a little more in detail. |
Florida girl |
| 2007-01-17 11:50:18 |
Posted by |
| hot |
13 and ready |
| 2007-02-24 06:22:32 |
Posted by |
| it made me touch my clitoris/.. |
too hot for you |
| 2007-04-18 18:08:30 |
Posted by |
| i dont like it when the tip of the cock is described as bulbous. wtf?! it sounds like some kinda zit. isnt here any other word that makes it sound more fuckable? i dont bend over for any 'bulbous.' |
asianchick |
| 2007-05-16 03:16:45 |
Posted by |
| hai sexy i wanna fuck with u |
Anonymous |
| 2007-05-16 03:17:59 |
Posted by |
| too ...........................................................................hotsexy |
sex |
| 2007-05-16 08:08:46 |
Posted by |
| GET HELP MAN. i mean bulbous? notfuckablehun |
se xy kay cee |
| 2007-06-11 00:35:41 |
Posted by |
| im so rubbing my clit here...can somebody like, fuck me? |
asianslut |
| 2007-06-12 15:41:36 |
Posted by |
| ..hot. |
Anonymous |
| 2007-06-19 15:11:55 |
Posted by |
| good story, but you dont have to use her last name everytime shes mentioned! |
momma 9704 |
| 2007-07-01 22:39:45 |
Posted by |
| hannah wyatt could do some under my desk duty. |
Anonymous |
| 2007-07-07 05:54:23 |
Posted by |
| Too much last name usage.... But got me hard so fair play! |
JB |
| 2007-07-08 00:15:18 |
Posted by |
| Stop using her full name dude and use her and she more, or even just her first name! |
JB |
| 2007-07-09 17:31:50 |
Posted by |
| I could help you our asianslut. I have a long hard cowboy cock that would fill that asian pussy really well. Slip your hot twat down on this thick cowboy cockand ride like there is no tomorrow. Or I could ride your asian pussy bareback with bucking strap. |
Anonymous |
| 2007-07-13 01:54:28 |
Posted by |
| How titillating....very hottttt |
luvasianpussy |
| 2007-08-21 06:14:18 |
Posted by |
| Yes, Hannah's last name should have been left out but for the introduction. The story did not escape reality possibilities except that confinement in a closet could have been elaborated upon more rather than just have the incident a quicky cum-fest...! |
Titanium |
| 2007-08-30 06:53:17 |
Posted by |
| sexy but try a girl ur age next time |
slut gal |
| 2007-09-26 13:12:56 |
Posted by |
| hey don't go too hard on de guy for using the full name of his teacher it's like who is your mummy |
dan |
| 2007-10-07 19:11:46 |
Posted by |
| hi asianslut, i would really like to taste you, that wet hot pussy realy turns me on |
james |
| 2007-10-19 18:09:15 |
Posted by |
| Hi asianslut and slut gal, I would love to taste both or either of you in real life. i mean down there-yes there where It matters. |
james |
| 2007-10-28 17:58:23 |
Posted by |
| same comment... Try using pronouns lol... Ur story sounds like it wuz written by a 5 yr old... (^,^") n james... Get a life... They culd b guyz 4 all u know... (=,=") |
xxx-rater |
| 2007-11-06 17:51:42 |
Posted by |
| god thats hot i just had to touch my self nice work xx |
first timer |
| 2007-12-03 15:09:04 |
Posted by |
| mmm i got so wet reading that xxx |
amber |
| 2007-12-03 15:10:22 |
Posted by |
| mmm i got so wet xxx |
amber w |
| 2007-12-04 16:54:21 |
Posted by |
| i really dont know why this story is rated so high!!!!! it didnt do anything for me...... |
Juic-eeeee |
| 2007-12-05 14:27:48 |
Posted by |
| good...but not so intresting. |
mk |
| 2007-12-05 20:28:05 |
Posted by |
| that was nothing at all |
Jenson |
| 2007-12-17 09:49:08 |
Posted by |
| Following that basic plotline, I could write a better short story in an hour. Also, the writing style is similar, if not the same to every other story posted in the ``Top Stories" section. If this story was marked by a public judicator, there is no doubt that many points would have been deducted for sentence structure and sentence fluency. |
Josephine Davis |
| 2007-12-23 06:54:29 |
Posted by |
| Some of you people talk about his spelling and pronunciations, wow...You have some room to talk with the misspelled words and shit. He did a story and you couldn't even phatom the thought behind it..So maybe he used her name through the whole story, maybe he wanted you to know it was possibly real and it brings back memories to him. |
Anonymous |
| 2007-12-30 03:27:12 |
Posted by |
| OMGAH i JUST FiNGERD MY SElF THiS iS MY 3RD STORIE AND i CAN BUT HElP TOUCH MY SElF.. MY B/F WONT SO i DO |
MEliSSA MURPHY |
| 2008-01-01 01:21:43 |
Posted by |
| less name usage but that was still hot it makes we want to fuck ;) |
yung-puss |
| 2008-01-03 19:51:34 |
Posted by |
| Wow...someone missed out on 9th grade English. Hannah Wyatt Hannah Wyatt Hannah Wyatt? No. |
Jason |
| 2008-01-04 01:38:19 |
Posted by |
i want fuck u
|
Anonymous |
| 2008-01-19 04:35:48 |
Posted by |
| If you read sevrule stories they sound very simaler. I think they are written by the same person. the author uses some uncommon words in all the stories, like bulbuos, and how they say the persons last name everytime the character is mentioned. |
Anonymous |
| 2008-01-20 18:11:40 |
Posted by |
| lil bit borin |
tezza |
| 2008-01-30 07:39:29 |
Posted by |
| ok all i have to say is its a great story and give the guy a break he tried ok this not about who can spell or sentence structure so get off his back. |
lil_miss_naughty |
| 2008-02-17 13:02:05 |
Posted by |
| i am all stiffed... |
Hardend |
| 2008-02-18 20:11:55 |
Posted by |
| why do you always use ".?" gay... just use one or the other or "!?" |
Anonymous |
| 2008-03-13 19:40:49 |
Posted by |
| First, use more Pronouns. Second, my Cock's Tip Ain't Bulbous. Damn! And did it take you 10 mins to write that. It has the grammar and content of a 13 year old's mind. Sheesh. Then Again, this is a literature porn site. Soo.... Who cares. You Suck At Writing So Fuck You! |
Born To Fuck |
| 2008-03-19 19:35:21 |
Posted by |
| Good work bit repetive with the surname but almost everyone said that , could of had more detail and better ending but over all a sex story is a sex story it was hot so i didnt care |
nice work bich ! |
| 2008-03-25 18:12:54 |
Posted by |
| used hana watte or what ever to much |
throbing pussy |
| 2008-04-13 16:54:02 |
Posted by |
| found this quite boring to bo honest |
Anonymous |
| 2008-04-18 21:01:48 |
Posted by |
| ok |
Anonymous |
| 2008-04-19 00:04:36 |
Posted by |
| This smells like a puppy! |
GIR |
| 2008-04-24 13:04:55 |
Posted by |
| Good story but listen to the aadvice about pronouns and paragraphs... and drop the last name it was... unnecasary |
Kurt Wagner |
| 2008-05-06 16:03:27 |
Posted by |
| wow...every guy who reads this and complains about the grammar is a douche...u should be focusing on the fact that theres hot sex...not that he used the last name a lot...jeeeesssuuusss christ |
Buster Cherry |
| 2008-08-13 22:46:07 |
Posted by |
| I understand the name thing well. Its showing his interest in her. However to do this u must add abit more story before the sex. |
maestro |
| 2008-08-20 02:54:09 |
Posted by |
because i ALWAYS refer to people using their full names.
/sarcasm |
Anonymous |
| 2008-10-15 22:45:28 |
Posted by |
| that fucking made me hot |
dorkyhornygirl |
| 2008-10-22 17:26:59 |
Posted by |
| wow my mom said i wasnt supposed to spunk all over her face but i just did! |
omg ima N3RD |
| 2008-11-01 10:32:04 |
Posted by |
| thanks, i enjoyed it. pronouns could help |
josh |
| 2009-01-04 09:44:48 |
Posted by |
| i tugged myself dry |
Anonymous |
| 2009-01-05 17:27:51 |
Posted by |
| i know this is beside the point, but whoever reads the incest stories r just fucked up! |
RIGGED2BLOW |
| 2009-01-27 18:38:18 |
Posted by |
You're all pathetic, was a good story.
Who honestly cares about the spelling and grammar?
Seriously, read it and get your kicks... or don't bother. No one forced it on you! |
Me |
| 2009-02-16 00:13:46 |
Posted by |
| yo anonymous im not sure if uz a man or woman but im fuckin turned da hell on n i just wana b wet if u aint intrested i bet deres otha men 2 fuck |
wet mama x x x |
| 2009-02-16 07:24:29 |
Posted by |
| it was alright could of been better. Less name more gain :) |
umme |
| 2009-04-03 14:57:14 |
Posted by |
| Hell ppl,u care abt grammar???then go read shakespear,y are u here at an sex story site???as if u ppl aren al horny bitches and bastards...caring 4 grammar eh?tht guy did write hot sex.and writing the full name is his style,so let it b. |
Anonymous |
| 2009-04-20 21:43:44 |
Posted by |
| who is dawn marie rogers. is this at piper high? |
Anonymous |
| 2009-05-02 18:29:13 |
Posted by |
| Hannah Wyatt Hannah wyatt Hannah wyatt use her name less its turning me off |
Anonymous |
| 2009-05-06 03:47:54 |
Posted by |
| As much as the grammar bothers me, I realize the story is more about the hot action rather then spelling. That said, bulbous made me laugh, most definitely the wrong word for that. The story was weak, but never the less got me wet good try! So for all of you Grammar Nazis, go jerk off, it's what you're supposed to do anyway... |
slut_one |
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